I've been making changes that I feel good about but have still felt that there was more to be done. I became a vegetarian about 3 months ago and while I'm not dieting, it has resulted in positive changes on it's own. I'm eating much healthier and diverse foods and no longer hit the fast food drive-thru's. Ok, I occasionally indulge in fries from Wendy's but the whoppers and mcnuggets are no longer a part of my life. Due to these changes, I have dropped some weight and that felt good initially. I then hit a rut and needed to push myself a bit further and realized I was relying on eggs and cheese too much for protein. I ventured out even further to make more food changes and that has been a positive experience. I enjoy more beans, quinoa, brown rice and nuts. I still have eggs and cheese but they aren't a main part of my meals, except for my favorite goat cheese and arugula salad. So delicious!
I've put off buying nicer, less frumpy clothes as I always thought I should lose more weight before spending the money. When I did buy clothes, I got them on the large size and relied a lot on sweaters to cover the parts of me I didn't want to see. As more time passed, I began to feel I was becoming one big sweater. People at work saw me as a sweater. They saw me change colors from green one day to black the next, but still a sweater. I had finally had enough but didn't quite realize it. I took the old lady to Nordstrom to start looking for an outfit for my Niece's wedding. A wonderful woman put an ensemble together that looked great! I bought a dress I thought would be ok for the wedding and good for work. I also bought a couple of frumpy tops for weekend wear. After we paid for the clothes I felt my shopping wasn't done and I ventured into a frump-free section. The sales person thought I was lost based on how I appeared to her, but became very excited when I touched something I liked but was afraid I couldn't wear. I suddenly found myself in the middle of a great shopping g experience. I normally wear long dresses and skirts to hide the thick ankles I received from my Grandmother, the kind that start out a bit thick in the morning and ooze throughout the day as they retain my fluid intake. I found myself in a dressing room with a St. John skirt on which fell just below my knees. Soon a pair of heels were on my feet and as I walked out to model the outfit, I felt good inside and the excellent sales person commented that I was holding myself differently. I loved every moment of it and have been wearing different pieces to work this week. Although my oozing ankles are on display, I feel better. I don't feel like I'm hiding in my clothes. It helps to hear the comments from others and it definitely helps to see the look of surprise on some faces. I realize now that I needed to break out of that rut and stop putting off looking nice and feeling nice until I was at some arbitrary acceptable weight. I needed to do this for my professional side. I feel more confident already and that's something I had been losing over time. The clothes aren't the answer to my problems or issues, but I feel better now that I'm not burying myself under my sweaters and loose clothes. It's a great step in the direction I've been heading and it motivates me to move a little more purposefully on this path.
